The State Of Things

So I posted some pictures last night because words aren't coming easily; I feel like this is turning into a photo journal of sorts, and that's kind of cool. I love my photographs. I had been in the hospital until 12:30 am or so, and we're on our way back there right now (as soon as Karyn has her coffee and gets dressed. I wish she'd hurry up.) I called Nomi and she says that no one has been able to rouse Ima yet today. Maybe this is really it (well i know this is really it, but the when of the now is still unknown). Maybe we don't have to pull out the stupid fucking tube and cause her nausea and vomiting. I feel like we're being cruel - can't they just give her a lethal fucking dose of something and let her go??? It's clear that she's not coming back. Modern medicine can feel so cruel. I wonder what the nurses know - or the doctors. I feel like there is a basic flaw in the way these hospitals work, there is too much changeover and too little follow through. That we should have had some resident or intern come in and tell us what they did yesterday about Ima's white blood cells is scary; I mean it really changed our perspective on the situation, but it wasn't true!

I'm listening to this Jolie Holland record; she's singing a song called ' I Wanna Die'. The joke being that she sounds kind of fake - and if you read about her you find that she's 29 and she has been looking for her voice for years; she's experimented with hip hop and what not and has settled on this fake hillbilly folksy thing that she does ok. But it rings strange. She's lifting from Guthrie, Dylan, Billie Holiday. It's funny that bluegrass is making such a big comeback - according to this weekends globe at least. I feel like I've been ahead of all the trends really. I'll just keep doing what I do. I also read in the globe about some italian duo that was making pop music using egg timers and helium balloons... On paper it sounded great - I love that people are making music with -ma she-ba la-yad -what ever comes in handy. It's such a gift to be able to listen to the world and hear music.